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Los Angles Bicycle Messenger Association

KING CONEJO'S RIDDLE RACE

FRIDAY MARCH 29, 2002

click on pic above

TO eMAIL DOUG & MELISSA

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remember these events ???

"Brush With The Law"

Race held on Dec. 14th, 2001

...Well, as you already know,

the "Brush With The Law"

critterium race has come and gone,

but I'll do my best to recall the events that transpired.

It was cold, at least by L.A. standards, but that didn't stop 'em. We

gathered on the top of Bunker Hill and patiently waited as the wind blew

through our bones for the KTLA Channel 5 news crew to show up. Apparently

they thought this was newsworthy. We also waited for the stragglers to

show up as they burped and belched their way from the Bridge. 7pm...three

false starts and plenty of honking from the late-nite commuters.

Gonzo's fourth false start led a slow pace down

the hill but as the velocity increased the

yells began. Twenty plus messengers barreling down the hill approaching

certain doom and tons of traffic. One green light (luck) and the rest all

reds. Honks and yells increased as the motorists glared shocked at our

discourse. Passing Hank's Bar, where a throng of lawyers and publicists

gathered to celebrate the release of Robert Byrne's book entitled "Brush

With The Law", I heard the hooting and hollering as the racers broke left

onto 9th st. and then left onto Hill dodging oncoming traffic and startled

pedestrians. Another left back onto Grand had us whizzing and wheezing past

the group of cavorting attorneys braying and bouncing on the sidewalk. It

all seemed sublime; this perfect blend of street meets sophisticate. Seven

laps down and half the group have already dropped out from exhaustion. I

persisted without any knowledge of my place in the competition or how many

laps I've done. Each time I passed the bar I would yell my request of place

and was met with shrugged shoulders. Ron Milam, from the LACBC, continued to

draft me on what I hoped was the last lap of this perilous rush hour jaunt.

Dodging buses and taxis I broke for the finish and with Ron only two feet

from my rear tire, track skid to a stop. Completely exhausted, I approached

the Bar where cameras and lights were already focused on the winners.

Scott Free came in first,

Jonas in second with a cinematic barfing climax, and

Brandon in third. Gonzo came in fourth and I, your humble narrator in fifth

with Ron Milam right behind me in sixth. The first prize was "the BAg", yes

a messenger bag. Second prize, a six foot pipe. Third, and by far the most

tempting a wonderful selection of messenger related books. Enough to call a

Library. Channel 5 caught it all .

Amazingly, none of it made it to prime time. Someone hijacked a bus and

bumped our spot. Oh well, not exactly suitable for the children, what with

what was abound. Hedonism and lunacy to follow with the first

party at Hank's Famous Downtown Bar. Messengers mingling with magistrates.

Strange smoke of the unfamiliar seeped into the pores of litigators and

losers alike. Saucey and sauced secretaries unsure of the invites to the

second party to be held at Inshallah on Main Street. After much yelling and

debating we broke for the second party. Twenty-five or so messengers in tow

along the now silent streets of downtown. North on Main, we ran every red,

incuding the one with cop on his donut break. Lights flashed and we

scattered in three directions. The confused officer chose his bait and

pursued me with two, which makes three. Racing onto Spring with the heat on

my trail I ducked behind a black car at a signal. The cop passed and pulled

over my co-horts leaving me an open oppurtunity to flee. Meeting the rest at

Inshallah, we gloated at our escape from the fuzz. Missing the two, we began

to wonder who were the unfortunates. Turns out our very own Oswaldo Lopez

and a junior named David on his second race with them. Dj's arrive,

movies begin and the kegs are tapped. Items of suspicious nature are

consumed and within an hour we lose touch with the remainder of the events.

There were to be bunny hop contests. There was to be

a track skid contest, we settled to roll on the floor of this majestic loft,

bathing in the warm glow of suns, stars and moons and their incandescent

infrastructures. We laughed and romped as the night continued. We tried in

vain to order a cab for a lucky soul who was to go home with a someone. No

luck. Sent them home with a maverick cabbie from the bar across the way.

Hope they made it home. The clearest night in L.A. as we rolled home against

the wind. Leaving the loudness of the crowd before it turned ugly...it did.

Can't remember much from 1am on, but who could? It was all worth it. I guess

this was our Holiday party. People can hardly wait for the next one. I hope

my head can take it.

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more oldies...

CRANKSGIVING 2001

SEE EVENT PICTURES CLICK HERE>

Cranksgiving L.A. 2001 update

11/27/2001

Hello there!

Cranksgiving L.A. 2001 was beyond a complete success;

it was a cinematic experience.

Thirty-three racers competed and the after party was outta sight!

The people at the Midnight Mission(where we donated the food)

were completely surprised to see messengers screaming to a halt

with their bags full of food.

We blocked off Los Angeles and fourth with bikes strewn everywhere

while the volunteers collected the food and completed manifests.

 The homeless couldn't believe their eyes! They didn't even know

there were bike messengers in L.A.!

"You mean, you make money ridin' your bike all around

and deliverin' packages? Cool!" 

The stores on the route were littered with messengers

riding their bikes down the aisles looking for that one

item needed to complete that check point.

People in the lines were hip to what was going on and let the

messengers to the front of the line.

Some even cheered them on! It was as if we took over the city. 

The after party proved to be both

painful and fun for the participants of the Bunny Hop contest.

Spectators were taken out by flying road bikes

and hurtled BMX bikes. All in good fun.

The Pinata dressed as an

attorney was torn apart limb from limb and the head was used

as a doorknob. Mario almost fell from the fire escape

as he tried to maintain balance two stories up and holding a pinata!

DJ's! Movies! Dancing! Drunken brawls in front of the Bonnaventure hotel!

People lost their bikes in a drunken haze and shoulders were seperated!

All in good fun! Pictures are being picked up today and will be sent to you asap. 

Douglas & Melissa LABMA

SEE EVENT PICTURES CLICK HERE>

old updates

"Cranksgiving alleycat race    

Latest news  11-13-2001

We are in the midst of preparing for a charity alleycat race called "Cranksgiving". The race will be on the day

before Thanksgiving.      Messengers will have a food manifest and pick-ups will be at selected grocery

locations in the downtown area. Once all the food is picked up they will then race to the Midnight Mission

where the food will be collected and donated to needy families.

Best Wishes,

Douglas Forrest & The LABMA    

 

 

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